How to avoid trick or treaters...

[ang_rosin]

Spend the evening in the theatre. Tonight was On Tour which has Andrew Schofield in, one of the Dingles and sumovvahbloke. It was fun, if you like to hear the word "fuck" shouted repeatedly, and had a number of witty lines which I can't remember now.

Further evidence of just why I am single was produced when I watched a young couple play out the dance of the sweets.

Guy 1: What sweets do you want?
Guy 2 (on way to toilet): Oh, anything.
Guy 1 buys anything which turns out to be dolly mixtures and jelly babies.
Guy 2 returns: Awwww. I don't like either of them. See if you can swap them.
Guy 1 then has to go and swap sweets while guy 2 watches.

All the alternatives in my universe do not work out well...

Me: What sweets do you want?
Guy 2 (on way to toilet): Oh, anything.
I buy anything which turns out to be dolly mixtures and jelly babies (although, let's be honest, I'd buy Minstrels).
Guy 2 returns: Awwww. I don't like either of them.
Me (interrupting): Why did you say buy 'anything' then?
Guy 2: Can't you swap them?
Me: You fucking swap them! I'll be over here eating the heads of the jelly babies.

OR

Guy1: What sweets do you want?
Me (on way to toilet): Oh, anything.
Guy 1 buys anything whuch turns out to be dolly mixtures and jelly babies (although, thinking about it, I'd probably have said "Minstrels" at the start).
Me, returns, realises I don't really like either of them: Thanks!
*I eat them with a brittle smile*

Moral of the story? Buy ice-cream.

Comments

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

I'd go for the biting heads off jelly babies option. Or the Minstrels.

We avoided the trick or treaters by just refusing to answer the door. Anyone that actually needed to be let in either had a key, or they could phone and say "answer the bloody door, you bastards!" This of course means that the large bowl of Smarties snacksize boxes are all mine!

[ang-grrr.livejournal.com]

I don't really get them but if I'm home I have sweets here to give.

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

Moral of the story? Buy ice-cream.

Or chocolate.

This is probably why I'm single, too: all of your dialogues sound more like me than the first one. (Though the first one sounds awfully like something my mum would do to my dad, though after 43 years of marriage he generally remembers to say - when she says "Oh, anything!" - that she has to be specific so he doesn't buy the wrong thing.)

[ang-grrr.livejournal.com]

Either Guy 1 is going to have to learn to make Guy 2 be specific or he'll be a doormat for the rest of his life or I'm afraid the relationship won't last very long.

Caroline wouldn't let me go over and tell Guy 1 he was too good for him. :)

[i-ate-my-crusts.livejournal.com]

I don't like ice cream.


(Sorry, couldn't resist. And I really don't like ice cream. Unless it's ginger ice cream, which gets a free pass on account of the ginger.)

[ang-grrr.livejournal.com]

Yes, but you strike me as the sort of person who only say anything if you actually meant it.

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

You really don't like ice cream? I don't either, and people always look at me like I'm slightly odd when I say it. Of course, they've probably got a point, but its nice to not be the only one :)

[i-ate-my-crusts.livejournal.com]

I really don't. Never have. I was one of those kids who, at parties, ate the jelly and left the ice cream, unlike 99% of my friends.

I eat it once or twice a year, which fulfills my quota.

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

You're not my long lost twin or something are you? Cos that sounds frighteningly familiar :)